virtual history: from CEO to .....
Part I
Dearing carefully arranged the epaulettes on his Emperor’s new uniform for the fifth time and cleared his throat prior to delivering his enthronement speech.
Perhaps the revolution had failed because of the rebels inability to devise a tenable compromise between the romantic ideals of the Crazy Horstist apologists (whose attempts to make Scottish Gaelic the blog’s official language met with the derision of the Ayatollah Khomeini look-alikeists, who preferred Allah’s own lingo, Arabic - with Farsi as second choice) and the no-nonsense approach to revolutionary moneymaking of the Pricefighterists. Or perhaps the mysterious disappearance of erithacus, the reasons for which are unknown to this day, so undermined the revolutionaries’ morale that the insurgency was doomed from the outset. We shall never know.
It is nevertheless clear that the chief beneficiary of the infighting was bob’sbarnablog CEO Dennis Dearing, whose innumerable hours thumbing Rod D. Steinberger’s best-selling classic "From Two-bit Company Manager to Imperial Swaggerer: How to Drive Wedges between Your People and Establish Total Control" stood him in good stead for this moment to which he had so looked forward.
Dearing had taken full advantage of the now famous counterrevolutionary stand next to the photocopier (1 and 2 August 2005) by "turncoat" Sir Reginald Sleeping and ghost of his man Crabtree. He had ruthlessly exploited the equally renowned and bitterly divisive dispute between Pepa and Wayfarer’s Hotel bar manager, Mr Ian Wilmslow, regarding the true colour of liquid oxygen. Dearing, moreover, had shown precision Machiavellian anticipation of the eagerness of the sans couilles movement of Northern Renaissance painters not to get involved, and had meanwhile exploited lovers of things as they've always beens' (despite the oft faecal nature thereof) fears that changes produced by a revolutionary rabble would yield nothing but anarchy and hardship.
Something therefore had to be done by someone who represented both strength and fairness. Stability must be sought by a figure with integrity, up to whom bob’sbarnablog staff could look and seek assurance that the blog was not Canis lupus familiarisward-bound. Dearing, Dearing asserted, embodied that person.
Perhaps the revolution had failed because of the rebels inability to devise a tenable compromise between the romantic ideals of the Crazy Horstist apologists (whose attempts to make Scottish Gaelic the blog’s official language met with the derision of the Ayatollah Khomeini look-alikeists, who preferred Allah’s own lingo, Arabic - with Farsi as second choice) and the no-nonsense approach to revolutionary moneymaking of the Pricefighterists. Or perhaps the mysterious disappearance of erithacus, the reasons for which are unknown to this day, so undermined the revolutionaries’ morale that the insurgency was doomed from the outset. We shall never know.
It is nevertheless clear that the chief beneficiary of the infighting was bob’sbarnablog CEO Dennis Dearing, whose innumerable hours thumbing Rod D. Steinberger’s best-selling classic "From Two-bit Company Manager to Imperial Swaggerer: How to Drive Wedges between Your People and Establish Total Control" stood him in good stead for this moment to which he had so looked forward.
Dearing had taken full advantage of the now famous counterrevolutionary stand next to the photocopier (1 and 2 August 2005) by "turncoat" Sir Reginald Sleeping and ghost of his man Crabtree. He had ruthlessly exploited the equally renowned and bitterly divisive dispute between Pepa and Wayfarer’s Hotel bar manager, Mr Ian Wilmslow, regarding the true colour of liquid oxygen. Dearing, moreover, had shown precision Machiavellian anticipation of the eagerness of the sans couilles movement of Northern Renaissance painters not to get involved, and had meanwhile exploited lovers of things as they've always beens' (despite the oft faecal nature thereof) fears that changes produced by a revolutionary rabble would yield nothing but anarchy and hardship.
Something therefore had to be done by someone who represented both strength and fairness. Stability must be sought by a figure with integrity, up to whom bob’sbarnablog staff could look and seek assurance that the blog was not Canis lupus familiarisward-bound. Dearing, Dearing asserted, embodied that person.
posted by Bob @ 1:34 pm
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