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bob'sbarnablog

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

innovation and forthcoming developments

Shareholders at bob’sbarnablog's AGM were given a foretaste of the blog’s most recent innovation and its forthcoming exercise in stretching the bob’sbarnablog brand, when executives yesterday revealed the world’s first coito-specs.

Blog CEO, Dennis Dearing, told shareholders that the coito-specs represent a huge step forward in the blog’s mission to become a world leader in the design of extremely unlikely and useless articles.

When asked about the secret of bob’sbarnablog’s success, Dearing replied that "bob’sbarnablog’s philosophy is based on three core principles"

Using the first three fingers of his left hand to aid understanding he continued.

"First (index finger), the tireless dedication of blog personnel, second (middle finger), a no-nonsense approach to the exploitation of staff, and third (ring finger), fearlessness when giving a good bollocking to anyone who steps out of line."

However, remembering Golden Rule No. 3 of Volume XII of Rod D. Steinberger’s best-selling "Manual for Third-rate Managers: How to Get What you Want from your People" (which states that managers should always lavish praise on someone or other to compensate for outbursts of sarcasm and the humiliation of others), Dearing added "I’d like to thank the shareholders and our reader and to take this opportunity to express particular gratitude to Señora Pérez and Señor Martínez without whose respective sandwich-making and janitoring skills bob’sbarnablog would certainly not be what it is today."

Señor Martínez, who was standing at the back of the room, beamed with pride.

A spokesman for bob’sbarnablog stated that details of the innovative coito-specs were shortly to be revealed at a forthcoming public launch.

4 Comments:

  • At 2:59 pm, Blogger Dave said…

    Can they be used at the same time as the typing shoes? We need to know these things.

     
  • At 3:56 pm, Blogger Bob said…

    Unfortunately, confidentiality agreements bind me to keeping my mouth shut (my fingers off specific keys in a certain order) until the day of the launch when all (or some) shall be revealed.

     
  • At 4:36 pm, Blogger Dave said…

    Don't you mean 'toes off specific keys'? Or have you invented a new way of typing, using the fingers? If so, are you planning to patent it, or may I pick my keyboard off the floor too?

     
  • At 5:19 pm, Blogger Bob said…

    Before the invention of the special shoes I used to use a mallet-like device but it ws rather slow. We did experiment with finger-operated versions but came to the conclusion there was little future in them.

     

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