the great escape
But...... Hercules, David and Venus soon make friends and come up with an escape plan.
Hercules easily breaks down the wagon door. The three former statues escape, scampering along the dark tunnel and urging each other to be silent by putting their fingers to pursed lips and uttering loud "Shhhhh" sounds. They shuffle past the hut where the Thinker is explaining the principles of extortion to his henchmen.
As the three friends make their way along the tunnel, the darkness grows gradually less intense. They enter the main tunnel and come to the station. Hercules leads the other two ex-statues up onto the platform of the crowded Urquinaona station, where commuters stare at them in disbelief.
David: Why are they all looking at us like that?
Venus: Cos’ we’re stark naked, aren’t we?
Hercules: You two wait here! I’m going to find some clothes.
Venus of Milo: Where? We can’t just stand here with all these people gawping at us!
Hercules: Over there! He points to a recess behind a vending machine. Venus crouches behind it, closely followed by David.
Hercules leaps up the escalators, barging shoppers, tourists and office workers out of the way, and emerges in Plaça Urquinaona, where he takes his bearings. He’s in luck. Just past Pans & Company sandwich bar is El Corte Inglés department store. He’ll be able to get hold of some garments there. Luckily, Hercules is a classical superhero. He bounds down the road at breakneck speed and enters the store.
He stops for a moment to look at the store floorplan. Menswear: 2nd floor.
El Corte Inglés is famous for snooty assistants who scan potential customers from head to foot before attending them. But this doesn’t put Hercules off. He grabs a few oversize shirts and snazzy top-brand suits from the shelves before the astonished assistant can say Juanito Hijo de Petirrojo.
Hercules tries them on and chooses the biggest of the suits for himself and another, more urbane cut for David. He grabs a couple of silk ties and runs down the escalator to Ladieswear on the first floor.
Hercules snatches some colourful garments ("Venus will look nice in that!" he thinks). His own underwearless crotch is itching a little and this guides him to the lingerie section where he stops and purrs. Some posh-looking customers are giving Hercules funny looks so, not wanting to draw further attention to himself, he lowers his gaze and stuffs a few women’s undergarments into the suit pocket.
Of course the security tags are still on so when Hercules scurries out through the door of the store, the whole alarm system starts to wail. Hercules, however, is a much handier all-in-wrestler (given his experience of slaying monsters and grappling with Marathonian Bull-type beasts) than the 40-a-day store detective, who is soon lying on the floor gasping for breath.
Unluckily for Hercules, the security guard has drunk the better of a bottle of red wine at lunchtime and is armed. He fumbles with the catch on the holster, draws the gun and doesn’t bother much to take aim.
"Bang!"
The guard misses but the bullet pierces the shopping trolley of an elderly woman who has just come up from El Corte Inglés upmarket basement foodstore. The shot punctures a can of superior quality Italian plum tomatoes and the lady is rightly furious. She harangues the guard and insists that he either replaces the can or gives her an instant refund. Hercules meanwhile slinks away.
Venus of Milo: You don’t expect me to wear that? She holds up a minuscule thong.
Hercules winks at her and passes her some loose-cut calf-length trousers, a tank top and some pink flip flops. He hands David a suit similar to his own and another woman’s thong. David raises an eyebrow and flicks the thong as if it were a sling.
Hercules easily breaks down the wagon door. The three former statues escape, scampering along the dark tunnel and urging each other to be silent by putting their fingers to pursed lips and uttering loud "Shhhhh" sounds. They shuffle past the hut where the Thinker is explaining the principles of extortion to his henchmen.
As the three friends make their way along the tunnel, the darkness grows gradually less intense. They enter the main tunnel and come to the station. Hercules leads the other two ex-statues up onto the platform of the crowded Urquinaona station, where commuters stare at them in disbelief.
David: Why are they all looking at us like that?
Venus: Cos’ we’re stark naked, aren’t we?
Hercules: You two wait here! I’m going to find some clothes.
Venus of Milo: Where? We can’t just stand here with all these people gawping at us!
Hercules: Over there! He points to a recess behind a vending machine. Venus crouches behind it, closely followed by David.
Hercules leaps up the escalators, barging shoppers, tourists and office workers out of the way, and emerges in Plaça Urquinaona, where he takes his bearings. He’s in luck. Just past Pans & Company sandwich bar is El Corte Inglés department store. He’ll be able to get hold of some garments there. Luckily, Hercules is a classical superhero. He bounds down the road at breakneck speed and enters the store.
He stops for a moment to look at the store floorplan. Menswear: 2nd floor.
El Corte Inglés is famous for snooty assistants who scan potential customers from head to foot before attending them. But this doesn’t put Hercules off. He grabs a few oversize shirts and snazzy top-brand suits from the shelves before the astonished assistant can say Juanito Hijo de Petirrojo.
Hercules tries them on and chooses the biggest of the suits for himself and another, more urbane cut for David. He grabs a couple of silk ties and runs down the escalator to Ladieswear on the first floor.
Hercules snatches some colourful garments ("Venus will look nice in that!" he thinks). His own underwearless crotch is itching a little and this guides him to the lingerie section where he stops and purrs. Some posh-looking customers are giving Hercules funny looks so, not wanting to draw further attention to himself, he lowers his gaze and stuffs a few women’s undergarments into the suit pocket.
Of course the security tags are still on so when Hercules scurries out through the door of the store, the whole alarm system starts to wail. Hercules, however, is a much handier all-in-wrestler (given his experience of slaying monsters and grappling with Marathonian Bull-type beasts) than the 40-a-day store detective, who is soon lying on the floor gasping for breath.
Unluckily for Hercules, the security guard has drunk the better of a bottle of red wine at lunchtime and is armed. He fumbles with the catch on the holster, draws the gun and doesn’t bother much to take aim.
"Bang!"
The guard misses but the bullet pierces the shopping trolley of an elderly woman who has just come up from El Corte Inglés upmarket basement foodstore. The shot punctures a can of superior quality Italian plum tomatoes and the lady is rightly furious. She harangues the guard and insists that he either replaces the can or gives her an instant refund. Hercules meanwhile slinks away.
Venus of Milo: You don’t expect me to wear that? She holds up a minuscule thong.
Hercules winks at her and passes her some loose-cut calf-length trousers, a tank top and some pink flip flops. He hands David a suit similar to his own and another woman’s thong. David raises an eyebrow and flicks the thong as if it were a sling.
posted by Bob @ 6:41 pm
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