"That's him. I know it is!" she exclaimed as a picture of Michelangelo's David, the sixth in a series of Identikit montages, was laid on the table in front of her.

Inspector Ronald Saunders stroked his well-trimmed beard and wondered. He found it hard to believe that some of the world's finest art treasures were posing as Gas Board representatives and persuading the elderly to part with their meagre pensions and life-savings.

"Do you think you could take just another look?" asked the Inspector.

"What? Big hands, small willy. It's him alright, or my name's not Dorothy Cheesecake!" insisted Mrs Cheesecake.

Reports had been coming in of a wave of small-time swindles by famous artworks whose bogus uniforms had been convincing enough for pensioners to part with their money and valuables. Only the previous week, a recently-widowed caller had reported being deceived by the Venus of Milo into handing over a virtually complete collection of PG Tips vouchers, which were shortly to be used for the purchase of a discount chimp-shaped teapot.

There had also been rumours that the deception was spreading beyond the homes of senior citizens. Department of Health and Social Security Inspectors officials were complaining of fraudulent applications for Family Allowances by a growing number of "Mothers with Child".

Inspector Saunders had only one lead to follow. A few days before, his opposite number in Clermont-Ferrand had called to warn Saunders of a highly effective Anglo-French ring of felonious statues whose alleged mastermind was none other than Auguste Rodin's "Thinker".

Saunders put the picture of Michelangelo's David into a file marked "Unsolved Case" and wondered where it would all end.