just happened to be:

Just happened to be at a conference on criminology. One talk was given by an Interpol bigwig who explained over thirty parameters that forgers need to consider in order to produce convincing banknotes. I was thus prompted to forgo my own rudimentary counterfeiting system of ironed tissue paper, lemon juice and felt-tip pens on account of its potential rumblability.

The failure of the number on my lottery ticket to correspond to that required to win the bumper jackpot prize was also a huge disappointment and a great blow to my aspirations to honour my fiscal obligations.

I therefore resorted to searching the pockets of jackets long since worn and under the cracked olive green 1940s Ministry of Housing ceramic tiles in the hall. This yielded nothing except for a few German cockroaches (Blattella germanica) and their eggs.