.... and punishment

Fig. 1. "Captain Horatio Fitzgerald bravely defies the cruel tempest and saves the lives of the crew of the Spaniel" by Theodora Jerrican, official paintress of the Fitzgerald family.

After several food- and waterless weeks, second mate Peasbody was flagrantly to flaunt seafaring etiquette and the captain’s own rules by sneaking up on an unsuspecting Diomedea exulans, which was perching on the ship’s windlass, and walloping it on the head with the captain's cricket bat.

Several days later, with the wind up and the mainsail bulging afresh, the Spaniel, in which Fitzgerald and his crew hoped to sail to the comfort of a sheltered Micronesian harbour, came upon a violent storm. Nothing could be done to prevent the vessel from breaking up, not far from what Captain and crew initially believed to be the coast of the southern Marquesan island of Hiva ‘Oa, but later discovered was the town of Grimsby.

Thereafter, Fitzgerald experienced difficulties in finding a merchant vessel to command. He therefore enlisted in the Royal Navy and in no time at all was appointed captain of HMS Basset.

Now, years later, he still attributed the Spaniel’s misadventure to the shooting of the bird, which was said to be the reason for his strict Vegan dietary habits and regular quotations of long passages from Coleridge’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner, while he masticated tofu.

Sleeping interrupted the Captain’s story to intervene on behalf of his cabin boy and future man.

"Thank you Captain Fitzgerald but the boy is in my charge and thus disciplining him is a matter that I ought to deal with. I will see to it that he is severely punished, I can assure you."

Fitzgerald’s face turned a deeper shade of purple and, without uttering another word, he turned on his heel and swiftly left the cabin.

"Now, Crabtree," asked Sir Reginald, whose bite and bark were equally as lame. "Which is to be: Carolus Linnaeus’ Systema Naturae in Latin to the tune of Greensleeves, or six of the best with a large seabird in full rigor mortis? It’s up to you."

"The recitation I think, sir?" replied Crabtree sheepishly. "May I recommend the use of the bird’s corpse for the purposes of scientific analysis?" he added.

"Excellent thinking," answered Sir Reginald, whose misgivings about Crabtree’s unruly nature were now on the wane in light of the boy’s uncommon common sense.