Followers of the Canis Major religious cult claim that NASA has given them irrefutable proof that their religious convictions represent the only true spiritual path. Canis Major worshippers, who believe that the earth is a bone hurled by Orion to his hunting dog to keep it entertained in the vastness of the universe, insist that a recent satellite photograph of Antarctica, which shows the outline and features of beagle (above), is undeniable proof that the earth and the people thereupon are nothing other than the dog's playthings.

Scientists, however, remain sceptical and maintain that brown smudges similar to floppy dog-like ears that have appeared over Wilkes Land and the Amery ice shelf are the result of ice that has melted at isolated spots to reveal brown permafrost and subsoil. A possible explanation for this is a sharp increase in atmospheric temperature caused by an equally dramatic fall in carbon sequestration. This in turn is perhaps the result unchanging phytoplankton colony sizes, itself the consequence of a hunger strike by Antarctic krill, motivated by demands for improved synchronised swimming facilities.

Elsewhere, scientists claim, the black nose-like feature that covers a large part of Graham Land has been caused by unusual formations of the entire world population of emperor penguins, Aptenodytes forsteri. These birds have gathered together and are lying on their fronts, thus revealing only their greyish-black backs to NASA's cameras. Because of Emperor penguins' unusual capacity to tessellate when in large groups, extensive areas of ice are covered without any traces of white bits in between.

A spokeswoman for the cult's Janitor Lethaeus (Hell's Janitor) breakaway sect insisted that the photograph provided conclusive proof that Canis Major is not solely the "Guardian of Europe", as is believed by the Canis Majorian orthodox, Eurocentric hierarchy, but is also the Caretaker of the Underworld, a stance vehemently opposed and considered heretical by conservative Custos Europa clergy.